BY IAN TASSO
EDITORIAL - PHOTOS BY AP NEWS
Let me preface this article by stating I am an entirely neutral party here.
I am not from Cleveland, nor do I ever find myself wishing I was. I don’t know anyone that lives there, have never passed through it, and quite honestly, don’t care to accomplish either of those tasks under my own will or consciousness.
On a similar note, I am not from Miami either. And aside from my few opinions on South Beach, which oddly enough mostly stem from Will Smith, I have no attachment to the city of Miami.
Although, I’m not going to lie, I do feel some weird sort of connection with it ever since I beat GTA: Vice City. It’s strange, but I feel like I own it. Ask anyone who ever beat that game, and I’m sure they’ll say the same thing. Somehow I feel like I'm destined to move there, spend copious amounts of coke money on sunglasses, chains and new boats, and flip Ferrari's over the bridge.
But I digress.
Facts are, I’m attached to one basketball team, and one basketball team only – the Boston Celtics, who were not in any way, shape or form involved in the transplant of LeBron’s courtship.
On that same level, I have only enough hate in my body for one basketball team, and one basketball team only – the Los Angeles Lakers, who, just as the Celtics, were not involved here.
To put it simply, I have no dog in this fight. I have no stake here. I have no steak here either; I’m actually eating chicken as I write this instead. Why you ask? Chicken over steak? Because I bought this chicken pre-cooked from Shaw’s. Go ahead; buy a pre-cooked steak from Shaw’s. I dare you. I, on the other hand, plan to live past the age of 25.
Even so, despite not having any dogs or stakes (or steaks), I, just like any self respecting sports fan, do have an opinion on the matter. And as usual, it happens to be an opinion that, I promise, many of you won’t like. In fact, a large majority of you might detest me for it.
Ask me if I care.
Go ahead, ask me. Shoot me an email, subjected “do you care, Ian?”
And in the time that it takes me to respond to that email by pressing the “delete” button, you can read this: my compilation of 6 reasons why LeBron made the most correct decision since Thomas Jefferson signed the Declaration of Independence in permanent ink, and told King George and the rest of those big-wigged Frenchmen to shove it.