Pulled Punches

by Joe Ballway
Editorial. Photos by AP News

So that was it? That’s the best they could do?

Disappointing. Pathetic. Shameful. There’s no shortage of negative adjectives to describe the effort the Bruins put forth last night, in a game which so many people anticipated as perhaps one last indication that this season isn’t swirling down the toilet.

No way to possibly put into words how weakly they responded to the unjust loss of one of their most valuable players. But I'm going to try anyway.

Flash back two weeks. Marc Savard lay on the ice, barely twitching, after Pittsburgh’s Matt Cooke swooped in with a late blindside elbow to the noggin. Savard was eventually taken off on a stretcher; two weeks later, he’s still suffering from dizziness and confusion, essentially confined to bedrest for the remainder of the season.

The hit sparked outrage for two reasons: first, the NHL failed to respond, letting Cooke off scot-free in yet another example that the league needs to implement a disciplinary policy for hits to the head.

Second, the Bruins failed to take matters into their own hands when the incident occurred, instead standing around idly and observing their fallen teammate as if he were some fascinating exhibit at a museum.

Since then, the Bruins have been emasculated by every media outlet that gives a damn about the sport - including the great Don Cherry, Canada’s grand ambassador of everything hockey, essentially calling Milan Lucic a pussy and a disgrace.

The general consensus is that it’s downright unacceptable that Boston’s tough guys didn’t immediately hold Cooke accountable for his actions - after all, should the situation warrant it, players are still expected to police themselves.

Last night’s much-hyped rematch with Pittsburgh was supposed to be Boston’s chance to not only save face, but to rally around a point of adversity and propel themselves towards a strong finish and hopefully, a postseason berth. One lousy 3-0 loss later, even the most optimistic of Bruins fans are wondering what it could possibly take to wake this team from its season-long slumber.

Of course, everything started according to plan. Shawn Thornton dropped the gloves with Cooke - the most recent in a long line of Bruin public enemies #1 - less than two minutes into the game. Cooke hit the ice quickly in a flurry of fists, launching the restless capacity crowd into bedlam.

The Bruins appeared to have gained an edge in a game that promised to be chippy and entertaining - revenge had been exacted and emotions were running high.

But for some reason, as they so often do in the most baffling of manners, the Bruins turned off the switch right then and there. They retaliated for the loss of their best player, somewhat, and then hung up the skates. Their work was done.

At least that’s how it seemed for the remaining 58 minutes, when the Bruins delivered a textbook definition of “going through the motions” effort, full of constant dump-and-chase, tentative and rigid special teams play, and a thorough unwillingness to go into the dirty areas. It’s almost as if they had prepared only for the first few minutes and forgot that there was still an entire game to be played.

The offense managed just 17 shots on net all night. Seven of those came in the final ten minutes with the game long since out of reach. It honestly wouldn’t have mattered if it was Marc-Andre Fleury or an under-ten goalie from NESN’s mini one-on-one manning the net - the Bruins simply couldn’t even get themselves in position for a quality scoring chance.

In fact, some of the loudest cheers of the night came twelve minutes into the third frame, when Miroslav Satan dribbled the puck at the net from just beyond the red line for the Bruins’ first shot of the period. Ten shots through 52 minutes of play? Unacceptable.

And it isn't like the physical play continued. If you didn't watch the first two minutes of the game, you'd have no idea that there was any history between these two clubs. No post-whistle scrums. No big hits. No emotion. Just bland, 2009-10 style Bruins hockey.

As the final buzzer sounded, the fans that passionately heckled Cooke and demanded Sid the Kid’s head on a stake had turned their wrath on their own team. The Bruins, now officially on life support, exited to a smattering of loud boos from the few people that stuck around for the final sorry seconds.

I say give those fans Dennis Wideman’s head - there doesn’t appear to be much up there anyways, and it would be an opportunity to get his useless contract off the books, once and for all.

In the end, last night's performance goes down as one of the most listless in recent memory. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that the Bruins are just flat-out disinterested, an appalling reality for a team that has so much at stake, clinging to that eighth and final playoff spot.

But maybe the Bruins are better off being put out of their misery now, rather than getting absolutely steamrolled by Alexander Ovechkin & Co. in the first round.

It's just a shame, added to the long list of them for the Bruins this year, that the team couldn't capitalize on a chance to rally that they so desperately needed. That this city so desperately needed.

Just another flop, in a season full of them. Should we really be surprised though?