End of Season Awards

by Joe Ballway
Editorial. Photos by AP News

As the 2009-10 slate comes to a close and the Bruins head for a likely playoff berth, I've decided to create my own set of awards for this year's team. Here's my assessment of the studs and many duds that Bruins fans encountered in the regular season:

The Jack Bauer Award

In honor of the final season of the greatest show on television, this award is given to the player who, like Jack, best exemplifies mental toughness in the midst of crisis, standing out from the rest to deliver results under pressure.

Recipient: Tuukka Rask

Without a doubt the Bruins’ savior of the season, Tuukka has been cool as a cucumber while overtaking Tim Thomas for the #1 goaltending spot. Although in my opinion, the depths to which Thomas has sunk have been overblown (he hasn’t been spectacular, but he hasn’t quite deserved the magnitude of criticism he has received), Rask has clearly become the superior goaltender, leading the league in both goals against average (1.99) and save percentage (.930) despite having appeared in just 43 games. With his unflappable aura and steady positioning, Rask has been positively Bauer-like, keeping the Bruins in tight games and ensuring that this season isn’t bombed to pieces.

Runner-Up: Patrice Bergeron

The "Snot Rocket" Richard Trophy

Named after a legendary sniper for the Montreal Canadiens, the “Maurice 'Rocket' Richard Trophy” is awarded annually to the NHL player with the most regular season goals. Because giving a similarly named trophy to a current Bruins player would be blasphemy to the Rocket’s legacy, and because the only rockets unleashed by Bruins forwards this season seem to have been of the nasal variety, I deemed it appropriate to rename the award in honor of the more economical form of nose-blowing.

Likely Recipient: Marco Sturm

Some interesting facts regarding Sturm’s 21 goals, which lead the team:

-None have come in the last 13 games.

-92 other NHL players have scored as many times or more.

-Steven Stamkos has 21 power-play goals.

-Alexander Ovechkin scored his 21st goal on December 12, and had already missed two weeks with injury.

-21 goals are the fewest by any team leader in the league.

Likely Runner-Up: Patrice Bergeron (19 goals)

The Hal Gill Award

In case you don't remember him, Gill was that huge guy from the early 2000s who looked like he was skating in cement, couldn't control a puck to save his life, and wouldn't drop the gloves with any form of male hockey player.

In his honor, this award is given to the player that is useless but, for some unknown reason, logs tons of ice time and provides fans with an excess of gray hairs, ulcers, heart attacks, etc.

Recipient: Dennis Wideman

Wideman's struggles have been well-documented and beaten to a pulp--team vice president Cam Neely called his season "awful" in a radio interview with 98.5--but it's hard to get over how much he has really sucked.

After a breakout 50-point season in which he finished 6th among all NHLers with a +32, Wideman has taken as big a 180-degree turn as any player in recent memory. In 73 games this year he has just 5 goals and 27 points, but his struggles have gone far beyond his offensive numbers--his -15 represents a ridiculous swing of almost 50 in the +/- department. Making mind-numbing mental errors on a seemingly nightly basis but never losing any ice time, Wideman has become the poster boy for this season’s disappointment and the biggest target of scorn and mockery for us long-suffering fans.

Runner-Up: Matt Hunwick

The Patrik Stefan Award

One of the worst #1 draft picks in NHL history, Patrik Stefan’s name is really only remembered because of this. Needless to say, this award is given for the most boneheaded play of the season.

Recipient: Tim Thomas’ puck fumble in overtime against Pittsburgh

This game, though it was all the way back in November, was probably one of the most frustrating moments of the season. Bill Guerin's goal with one second left was shades of David Backes in the Bruins-Blues game circa January '09, albeit more frustrating, because the Bruins weren't sitting pretty in first place this time.

The extra period brought the real icing on the cake, as Thomas skated behind the net to control a dump-in but misread the play, losing the puck to Jordan Staal, who passed it out front to Pascal Dupuis for an easy empty-netter. The overtime loss robbed the Bruins of a point that, in hindsight, was very important.

Runner-Up: Not really a "play," but the lack of immediate response to Matt Cooke's hit on Marc Savard sure was dumb.

The Jeanne Calment Trophy

Although she sounds like a forgotten fourth-liner from the Canadiens of the 1970s, Jeanne Calment was the oldest person ever to have lived--122 years and 164 days, to be exact. This award goes to the player who has best displayed perseverance in the face of old age, playing at a high level despite dinosaur-like attributes.

Recipient: Mark Recchi

The 43-year old continues to add to his remarkable career totals while providing the Bruins with steady leadership and the occasional scoring touch. Recchi is tied for third on the Bruins with 17 goals and 42 points, and recently moved into 13th on the all-time scoring list with 1484 points. Should the Bruins qualify for the postseason, they’ll need to lean on Recchi’s experience and work ethic if they hope to make any noise against the top teams in the East. Blake Wheeler and Michael Ryder could stand to learn a thing or two from the ol' Tyrannosaurus.